My moliwes did really well in a large group, Iw ouldn't really call it a harem as it was pretty close to an even split between males and females. They were in a 29g, I believe I had 3m/5f to start, as juveniles.
At any given time, I had random dithers in there, from otos to hatchets, but what seemed to help the most was a lot of areas for them to hide from each other. I had coconut huts, little ceramic caves, leaf litter, driftwood, and lots of java fern as well as floating plants. I would often see females behaving as you mentioned, but they would disappear in a cave for a few days, seemingly to recover, then would be out and about again.
I believe that i only lost one, even of the fry I reared that then started breeding again. I always kept them in a group, again, an almost near even split of gender. There would quickly be a dominant pair, and the rest just sort of took it upon themselves to avoid the dominant two. There was never much damage, just some chasing and body shaking to show dominance by the males.
It was suggested to me the other day, by whom I cannot remember (I think I was talkign to Stepan Tanner), that the pyrrhulina are a fantastic dither not just for SA dwarf cichlids, but also the pelvicachromis, as they are big enough to stand their ground and not at all shy. I may try some in my current krib tank (75g, also has Hypoptopoma gulare, which the kribs love to chase away).
