Parents???

zackcrack00

Members
So my mom has been promising a fishroom to me for months now. Yesterday she said I wasn't getting a fish room, and I have to get rid of most of my tanks. She thinks it's "too much". Why do you think she doing this? (Most of you are parents, I thought I'd ask.)


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festaedan

potamotrygon fan
So sorry to hear Zack, my parents always say I need other hobbies because I focus on fish to much so that might be why. Did you flood a tank, have a tank leak, or something like that recently? I know if I had one of the tanks leak my dad would -without hesitation- tell me to get all the tanks out of the house so that might also be why.
 

Forester

Members
Is say it just depends how you go about it. I have dumped 5 gallons of water on the nice wood floor, leaked a similar amount into my closet causing mold that stunk up my room for weeks, and caused us to have to redo my whole carpet but I still have like 300 gals of tanks right now. I cleaned everything up and now everything is fine. I also have stopped asking for expansion because a fishroom just isn't really feasible in a house where u r the only one who wants it.


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harlowe777

Members
Im a father and sometimes there are other reasons that they dont want to say.or feel its not your buesness to know.. there is a reason im sure..
 

chriscoli

Administrator
I'm sorry to hear that, Zack! I'm sure she's got a good reason, though.

So it sounds like you're going to have to really make the most of what you currently have and prioritize what you want to keep in the future. How many tanks are you going to be able to keep?
 
You are a very mature young man and I think you can you can have a conversation with her about it. I would find a time when she doesn't seem stressed or busy and ask to talk to her. Tell her you're confused by her change of heart and you'd like to better understand the situation. Ask if there is anything you can do to help. Perhaps offer a compromise of some sort? Try to be understanding, but it's OK to say that you are upset and even hurt by the change. It's also OK to say that the hobby is very important to you and you're willing to do xyz to help her out so that you can continue to do it.
 

mchambers

Former CCA member
Zack,

I'm sorry to hear that. I think Dan has listed some likely reasons, but here are the ones that occur to me. Maybe they think you need to develop other interests or focus more on school.

Maybe you could ask your mother to explain her reasoning, and see if you can address her concerns while also keeping the aquariums. For example, if she says you need to spend more time doing other things, maybe you can agree to limit the amount of time you devote to your tanks and commit to spending time on other interests?

I'm sure your mother has your best interests in mind, so remember that.

Matt
 

Localzoo

Board of Directors
Maby a money issue they feel they dont need to discuss with you..but remember..its never for NO reason lil bro..

Hey Billy I agree that there is never No reason...but Zack is a really mature young man and I believe that they should be able to discuss with him, maybe not in great detail but at least give a reason.

I'm a new father but I hope that I will be able to communicate with my daughter on all matters....I say this bc at 18-19 I had to take over all the payments for the home when my dad lost his business. And my brother who was 12 understood a lot more when I explained things to him (rather than my parents trying to keep him out of the loop)

Maybe I'm crazy but communication is the most important thing.

Zack maybe you can sit down and very politely ask why the sudden change of heart.(don't wine or complain etc I know you won't)
Just ask bc it's a legitimate question and they expect the same from you in terms of promises etc...
Other than that I believe it could have been contingent on you guys moving to a new home with more space.



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festaedan

potamotrygon fan
I have dumped 5 gallons of water on the nice wood floor, leaked a similar amount into my closet causing mold that stunk up my room for weeks, and caused us to have to redo my whole carpet but I still have like 300 gals of tanks right now. I cleaned everything up and now everything is fine.
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I agree, i've had allot of bad things happen, I over flowed a 29 twice in the same day, I've had hoses from canister filters come off and water go everywhere, I was bit by my lungfish and got a pretty bad cut, I spilled live black worms all over a rug, I had a python brake in the middle of a water change, I dropped a 5 gallon bucket filled with dirty fish water on a wooden floor, ect.
The only reason i havnt gotten all of my tanks confiscated was because in all of these situations I cleaned the mess and or fixed the problem by my self with out my parents help.
 

Becca

Members
Zack, I don't have any experience in this area as a parent, but as a child...

I grew up in a house full of animals and we were always pushing boundaries - bringing home stray cats, taking hamsters from friends who couldn't keep them, showing up with a mystery ferret we'd been keeping in the closet (yeah, that was me), "accidentally" letting the male and female hamster spend some time together... Actually, my mom might have been the biggest culprit, it was my dad who wasn't interested in being the local zoo.

I think what drove him nuts is that, no matter how much we had, there was always something else we wanted. My mom wanted a hedgehog, and a parrot, we wanted to keep ALL of the kittens the latest stray cat had birthed, not just one, and so on.

If fish are your thing and that's what you want the most, focus on those. Don't ask for chickens, hope for (more) baby goats, etc. Pick a couple of fish that you want to focus on and explain to her why they're important to you and stick with those fish.

Spend the foreseeable future focusing on what you DO have, rather than what you'd like to acquire.

Also, I agree that it's possible there is something going on that your mom feels is none of your business, but also causes her to feel some fish tanks need to go. Remember, even if you're taking care of your fish, they are costly in terms of electricity and water bills.

It's also possible she'd like to see you start saving some money, instead of spending it all on fish.
 

dogofwar

CCA Members
Pics of the lungfish bite?

Matt


I agree, i've had allot of bad things happen, I over flowed a 29 twice in the same day, I've had hoses from canister filters come off and water go everywhere, I was bit by my lungfish and got a pretty bad cut, I spilled live black worms all over a rug, I had a python brake in the middle of a water change, I dropped a 5 gallon bucket filled with dirty fish water on a wooden floor, ect.
The only reason i havnt gotten all of my tanks confiscated was because in all of these situations I cleaned the mess and or fixed the problem by my self with out my parents help.
 

dogofwar

CCA Members
I seem to remember the fishroom plan being dependent on renovating an outbuilding, which could be considerable time, effort and money (both to do initially and to maintain, especially in the winter).

My advice: focus on what you've got. I was several years into fishkeeping before I got the green light to expand beyond my room (and into the basement).

You're a good kid and your parents know it :)

Matt
 

zackcrack00

Members
So she thinks my fish stuff is too much mess. I've talked to my friends and a few adults that have come over and looked at my tanks, and not one said there was a mess. I'm really. confused and my mom is not the kind of person to reason with. I have six tanks in my room and she says I can only keep one. Downstairs there are three tanks and she says she doesn't know what I'm allowed to keep down there. She won't even listen to me or talk to me about it. :(


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festaedan

potamotrygon fan
Do you know when you need to have all these tanks out of your house? I think if you prove to her that you can keep it super neet and spotless then she might let you keep them. I have never seen your tanks but from what it sounds like your tank area isnt that messy so it might be easier said than done.
I hope she changes her mind, your responsible and take great care of your pets so Im very surprised she'd tell you to get rid of them.
Pics of the lungfish bite?

Matt
The bite has started to scar over so it may be a bit hard to see. I was not expecting the bite to be very strong but I was mistaken.

lung fish bite.jpg

lung fish bite.jpg

lung fish.jpg
 
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Becca

Members
So she thinks my fish stuff is too much mess. I've talked to my friends and a few adults that have come over and looked at my tanks, and not one said there was a mess. I'm really. confused and my mom is not the kind of person to reason with. I have six tanks in my room and she says I can only keep one. Downstairs there are three tanks and she says she doesn't know what I'm allowed to keep down there. She won't even listen to me or talk to me about it. :(


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Any chance your mom is thinking of selling the house?
 
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